Expectations
As the clock struck midnight a few days ago, or, if you were like me and woke up in the new year, what did you find yourself thinking about? Did you reflect on the past year? Did you spend some time thinking about the highs and lows? Did you start to make a list of all that you wanted to accomplish and change in 2018? As we go through big transitions, I think it's a great exercise to pause and think about what we may want to leave behind and bring forward in our lives.
AND, I had a very interesting epiphany during the days leading up to 12/31/17. Often, when I feel let down or frustrated with how something turned out, it's not because of how things actually happened. It's because of the EXPECTATIONS that I set within myself with regard to how I THOUGHT things should turn out.
Let's take Christmas morning as an example. The night before as I wrapped presents, I envisioned the kids coming to wake us up (at a reasonable hour) in the morning. We would all hug and make our way to the living room. Maybe we would start a fire. We would sit in a circle and hand out gifts, slowly opening and savoring each one. Everyone would be thrilled and grateful for what they received and words of appreciation would be expressed.
Ok, how hard are you laughing right now?
I have a 4 and 5 year old so I'll bet you can imagine our morning looked nothing like this. Basically the kids were already in the room scoping out presents before hubby and I were even awake. We had to rush out to stop them from opening them all before we were together. It was a flurry of activity and then boom, done.
By 6pm on Christmas day, I was spent and feeling just slightly disappointed. I have slowly come to realize that expectations are the devil. We have an image in our mind that we feel should be met and if not, we can often be let down. The truth is, I had so much to be grateful for on Christmas morning and we had a ton of fun! But I focused on what I thought the day should be like instead of being in the moment for what actually happend. Yikes.
We can have expectations with small things like a shopping trip, our level of satisfaction with the new Star Wars flick, or what restaurant our partner will pick for our date. We can also have them with big things like the expectations we have with what our marriage should look like or how our kids should act.....whoa.
Don't get me wrong, I think that goals and striving for things we want in our lives are a good thing. But what if we envision these goals, put the work in, and then adopt a level of detachment to the outcome?
We can all think of examples where something didn't work out and we actually ended up better off. When I was laid off of my job in the pharmaceutical industry, it was the best thing that could've happened in order to find my purpose work! I've learned that the journey I take and all that I learn along the way bring more into my life than actually achieving my desired goal.
So one thing I will be leaving behind in 2018 is expectations. When I find myself envisioning how something "should" play out, I'll take a breath, look around, and appreciate what is ACTUALLY happening. What I will bring forward is surrender. I will flow and move with how things are occurring and know that THIS moment, right NOW is what is meant to happen. Happy New Year and I wish you peace, love, and contentment in 2018.
AND, I had a very interesting epiphany during the days leading up to 12/31/17. Often, when I feel let down or frustrated with how something turned out, it's not because of how things actually happened. It's because of the EXPECTATIONS that I set within myself with regard to how I THOUGHT things should turn out.
Let's take Christmas morning as an example. The night before as I wrapped presents, I envisioned the kids coming to wake us up (at a reasonable hour) in the morning. We would all hug and make our way to the living room. Maybe we would start a fire. We would sit in a circle and hand out gifts, slowly opening and savoring each one. Everyone would be thrilled and grateful for what they received and words of appreciation would be expressed.
Ok, how hard are you laughing right now?
I have a 4 and 5 year old so I'll bet you can imagine our morning looked nothing like this. Basically the kids were already in the room scoping out presents before hubby and I were even awake. We had to rush out to stop them from opening them all before we were together. It was a flurry of activity and then boom, done.
By 6pm on Christmas day, I was spent and feeling just slightly disappointed. I have slowly come to realize that expectations are the devil. We have an image in our mind that we feel should be met and if not, we can often be let down. The truth is, I had so much to be grateful for on Christmas morning and we had a ton of fun! But I focused on what I thought the day should be like instead of being in the moment for what actually happend. Yikes.
We can have expectations with small things like a shopping trip, our level of satisfaction with the new Star Wars flick, or what restaurant our partner will pick for our date. We can also have them with big things like the expectations we have with what our marriage should look like or how our kids should act.....whoa.
Don't get me wrong, I think that goals and striving for things we want in our lives are a good thing. But what if we envision these goals, put the work in, and then adopt a level of detachment to the outcome?
We can all think of examples where something didn't work out and we actually ended up better off. When I was laid off of my job in the pharmaceutical industry, it was the best thing that could've happened in order to find my purpose work! I've learned that the journey I take and all that I learn along the way bring more into my life than actually achieving my desired goal.
So one thing I will be leaving behind in 2018 is expectations. When I find myself envisioning how something "should" play out, I'll take a breath, look around, and appreciate what is ACTUALLY happening. What I will bring forward is surrender. I will flow and move with how things are occurring and know that THIS moment, right NOW is what is meant to happen. Happy New Year and I wish you peace, love, and contentment in 2018.
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