What happens when a tomboy goes on a women’s retreat?

When groups of women start to organize and do events together, you’ll typically see me running the other way.  I’m not sure if it’s my strong masculine energy, my past experiences dealing with the cattiness that can sometimes happen with groups of women, or just my enjoyment of hanging with the boys. 

Then I met my friend Nikki who formed Women in Balance (WIB).  We share the same affinity for bad assery and hanging with the guys…..pushing ourselves to the limit in fitness classes, swearing like sailors, and just getting shit done.  I thought well, I love her so I’ll check it out.  And so came another lesson in my life regarding the need to avoid putting up my wall and give things a chance.

Last week I was a staff member for a WIB retreat in Sedona, Arizona. The first day or so had its fair share of discomfort as I really didn’t know these ladies well.  As a staff member, I also wanted to make sure we provided an amazing experience and put a fair amount of pressure on myself.  What I watched over the course of the next several days will stay with me forever.

I think the discomfort began to melt (at least for me) during our first hike to West Fork Canyon.  The conversations flowed freely as we got to know each other amid towering red cliffs and the soft sandy bottom of the canyon.  The hike was long and we stopped about 3/4s of the way through to check in.  I was met with a resounding “onward” when I asked the ladies if they wanted to turn back early.  I’m sure my smile revealed my joy in seeing that this group of ladies was as adventurous as I. 

By the time we finished that first hike, we were laughing hysterically, sharing personal stories, and creating a fast bond (seriously the speed of this connection still has me floored).

What became apparent was that many of the women were dealing with HUGE and I mean gigantic life transitions.  Career changes, break-ups, marital challenges, self-identity transformations, and past trauma.  The cracks that each individual came to Sedona with started to meld with the other women, filling each other up.  Hugs, tears, and tons of smart ass jokes and laughter.

The most special moment for me was in the Boynton Canyon vortex.  After a short but steep hike to the top, I offered a quick reiki sweep to any of the ladies that wanted one.  I haven’t practiced a ton of reiki on other people so was slightly nervous in my self-doubt.  But I thought, what the hell.

Each woman stood before me open, vulnerable, and trusting.  As I moved my hands a few inches from their bodies, I sensed different things in each person.  My feet were BUZZING which has never happened before (thank you vortex power).  When I was finished, I was brought to tears.  I felt their beauty and in some cases their pain.  It’s hard to even express how touched I was in that moment.  After the reiki experience, a local man handed us heart shaped rocks and some words of wisdom and we carried on with our hike. 

I noticed the deeper conversations started happening more frequently as the small talk faded away.  Clusters of women sat together and shared their stories, heartbreak, jokes, and journeys.  There was definitely some magic at play with tarot card readings that were CRAZY accurate, wildlife showing up at just the right moment, and finally, Virgo.  On the last night I used my star gazing app to look at the sky.  And right above us was beautiful Virgo.  She looked down on us as she held her wheat, representing the new harvest.  It felt like she held the new beginnings and transition that we all

felt from the week.

As we gathered up our things to leave on the last morning, I found myself welling up with tears (or feeling verklempt hahaha).  It was because I was marveling at the beauty of these humans and our weekend together.  I couldn’t quite process it so my heart was doing it for me. 

I realized the importance of having women like this in my life.  It’s healing and it makes me complete.  I’ll always love hanging with the guys but now I know that my girls will be the ones to build me up piece by piece.

I thank each of these women for the gift of their time.  They displayed such kindness, vulnerability, grace, open-mindedness, and of course, bad assery.  Each of them has a piece of my heart and Sedona has a piece of my soul. 

If you are interested in a Women in Balance retreat, check out the Taos, New Mexico trip in October 2018 or the Baja, Mexico trip in February 2019.